We at Minty Green Media are proud to announce the latest in Broadband Technology. Most consumers have at least heard of FTP (File Transfer Protocol). Some of the more well-versed of you are familiar with FTTP (Fiber To The Premises). Today we bring to you an all-new concept: FTTTP!
Fiber To The Toilet Paper

To save others and myself some time, I'll pre-emptively answer some questions.
1. Yes, this is a joke.
2. Yes, that link light is on. The fiber is lit.
3. I was bored, and wondered how far my longest fiber optic cable went. It can actually reach from my computer room on the ground floor to my pile-o-boxen in the basement...the long way (those who've been to my house can somewhat understand how far that is). So if I needed to (cat5 b0rk4g3 in the wall), or, for whatever sick reason, wanted to connect the machines downstairs with fiber, I could. (I'd just have to deal with
4. The joke only occurred to me after I put the transceiver down on the nearest open surface (i.e., a roll of TP).
Now I'll sit back and wait for the venture capitalists to start calling. *crickets chirping*